APART from the obvious result of all those turkey dinners this Christmas, I had not given wind power a thought, until I received this Christmas card from a supplier in Holland," writes Alan Marsh.

"It would seem that yet another wind power farm has sprung up and, given the flat nature of the Dutch topography, I doubt that its impact will be reduced by being hidden from most directions by a nearby hill.

"How did such a blatant eyesore get past both planners, and objectors? Could it be the Dutch do not give a ball of cheese for the look of their landscape and so do not think it worth preserving? Or is it that anything which sticks up from the interminable flatness is welcome?

"Or am I the only person that thinks the modern windmills are just as quaint as the old ones and, if I am not, can we expect to see them on our Christmas cards next year? I hope so!"

I must say that it is a sentiment I have shared over the years, believing that the

antagonism towards windfarms is the result of poor design than a more substantial objection.

If wind turbines were designed as 300-feet high Dutch windmills with roses round the door and mice on the front steps,

objectors would hardly be able to call them detrimental to the view of bleak fells like Lambrigg or Whinfell.

A dozen such windmills could serve useful purposes other than merely generating electricity.

Each broad larch-lap panelled tower would divide up nicely for use as:

l 50 holiday flats.

l 30 affordable homes

l 10 retirement homes

l A small shopping mall

l Cottage hospital

l Police and fire station

The other six windmills would of necessity have to be taken over as

luxury council offices to service the new community.

PARK GARDENERS

I HAVE always wondered exactly who looks after the Lake District National Park, but my question may have been answered by an e-mail from somebody signing himself JR and declaring himself to be the Head Gardener.

"As another year draws to a close, I'd like to issue my report as head gardener and keep your diaries up to date about the coming season.

"As you may recall, we wanted to plant 40mph signs throughout the park some years ago but many of the residents thought the new growth might impede normal progress compared to non-park life and as they are not a native species might look unsightly.

"Well, I am pleased to report that our friends at Cumbria County Council have some unused signs that they have not planted and must use up before the coming new budgets season. So we should see a new batch planted between Newby Bridge and Bowness before the end of next year.

"Our friends at the Constabulary are very pleased with the yields from the new signs and have accumulated much needed revenue from the Crook road planting and other schemes in Ambleside, Troutbeck Bridge and Lindale. Hopefully cash will improve again next year and will replace revenue lost from the poor yields of the decriminalised cannabis plant. They are especially pleased at yields obtained at quiet times, which give revenue all year despite the driving climate.

"Some people living in our park have questioned my random planting, but be assured the pattern is not accidental and with further growth the joins will become seamless.

"Naturally people have accused us gardeners of being unduly influenced by the Victorian garden and I must admit that the pace of life of those days does appear quite attractive, which may account for younger park residents opting to enjoy lives outside our park.

"Our Friends of the Lake District who live next door want me to remind you that our 10mph aquatic planting is now well on and although this plant is particularly difficult to grow, it will flower in 2005.

"Sadly, previous attempts elsewhere have resulted in it taking over and strangling any

commercial growth, but let us wait and see, as I can't see it affecting us gardeners.

"Best wishes for 2003 and drive slowly in my park."

January 16, 2003 15:30