ANXIOUS to do his bit to curb global warming, a partially disabled friend who lives near the Beast Banks area of Kendal decided to try public transport when he signed up for a four-week training course in Ambleside, but this is what he found: "Needing to be there for 2pm it would have been possible to jump in the car at 1.15pm, drive at a leisurely pace through the countryside to park on Kelswick Road before wending my way round the corner to St Mary's Lane.

"But what about the planet, the melting ice-caps and those baby seals?

"Unfortunately there is no train to Ambleside thanks to Wordsworth and Ye Friends of Ye 19th Century Lake District, who were not keen on the working classes getting up close and personal. So it would have to be the 555 bus from Lancaster to Keswick and places between.

"To be on time for my course there was nothing arriving at Ambleside later than 1.18pm so I had to work out how to get to Kendal bus station by 12.30pm.

"If I could walk further it would have been fine, but I can't. It used to be one stop from Beast Banks to the town, but the buses now go by scenic routes.

"I could choose from the 46 at 11.23am via Underwood, Wattsfield and Collinfield or the 44 at 11.52 via Hallgarth.

"To save half-an-hour I opted for the 44, which has the disadvantage of going nowhere near the bus station - but at least I would have 29 minutes to hobble through the Westmorland Shopping Centre.

"With bus stops still on both sides of the road I wondered if the direction of travel had been changed yet again, but with ear to the ground I heard the sound of a tortured diesel labouring up the hill - at least I had been right and the 44 still ran clockwise, following the sun.

"The 18-minute journey may well become more popular now that the Camolot Theme Park has closed as the ride along Queen's Road and Hallgarth justifiably qualifies as a White Knuckle Ride with humps and towering switchbacks.

"I looked back down the bus half expecting to see arthritic arms held aloft in the corkscrew turns on the Hallgarth section.

"Maybe they will start to use CCTV to offer passengers a DVD of their facial expressions.

"At Stricklandgate it was not clear until you see a sign in the Westmorland Centre that you are heading for the bus station.

"That's where I made my mistake. I saw lift and foolishly assumed that it would take me down to my destination. Instead I emerged in a car park and had to doge cars to reach the pavement.

"When the bus pulled in I could not get on as the drivers change and you have to wait until the new man arrives.

"I was fourth in the queue but the priority seat for the elderly or disabled had already gone to someone who was neither but too lazy to go further down the bus.

"I squeezed into a seat with restricted legroom, but at least my Warfarin reduces the chance of deep-vein thrombosis.

"Then I noticed the smell. It has been raining and the bus smells of wet dog and stale tobacco smoke on the hair and clothes of passengers - you can ban smoking on buses, but you can't keep out the smokers.

"The bus left and as it passed the Union Tavern I recalled wistfully that 26 minutes earlier I had passed it in the opposite direction.

"Up the hill we went and into Lakeland, only I could not see it as the windows were steamed up and running with water.

"Overall the journey took 86 minutes for points only 13 miles apart. It could have been worse - I tried once to get to a meeting in Appleby, but it would have needed an overnight stay."