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What's On

  • When?
  • Or

Now showing at Odeon Blackpool Rigby Road,Blackpool,Lancashire FY1 5EP 0871 224 4007

  • Ant-Man
  • Ant-Man 3D
  • Cinderella
  • Inside Out
  • Inside Out 3D
  • Jurassic World
  • Minions
  • Minions (Subtitled)
  • Minions 3D
  • Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation
  • Penguins Of Madagascar
  • Southpaw
  • Ted 2
  • Terminator Genisys
  • Terminator Genisys 3D
  • Thomas & Friends: Sodor's Legend Of The Lost Treasure
  • Two By Two

Ant-Man 4 stars

movie title

Cat burglar Scott Lang is released from San Quentin Penitentiary and resolves to go straight for the sake of his daughter. Inventor Dr Hank Pym invites Scott to don a superhero outfit, which shrinks the wearer at the touch of a button. Aided by Hank's feisty daughter, Scott masters the suit and learns to mind-control four species of ants. Humans and insects take on Hank's former protege, Darren Cross, who intends to sell the Ant-Man technology to the highest bidder.

  • GenreAction, Adaptation, Adventure, Romance, Science Fiction
  • CastEvangeline Lilly, Hayley Atwell, Paul Rudd, Bobby Cannavale, Judy Greer, Michael Douglas.
  • DirectorPeyton Reed.
  • WriterJoe Cornish, Edgar Wright, Paul Rudd, Adam McKay.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration117 mins
  • Official sitewww.marvel.com/antman
  • Release17/07/2015

Although its ambitions are grander than the incredible shrinking hero of the title, the latest franchise in the cluttered Marvel Comic universe is refreshingly modest compared to the computer-generated bombast of The Avengers. The script, initially penned by Edgar Wright and Joe Cornish, and was then revised by Adam McKay and Paul Rudd when Peyton Reed replaced Wright in the director's chair, leans heavily on deadpan humour.

That changing of the filmmaking guard in 2014 hasn't negatively impacted on Ant-Man. Reed's boisterous action adventure is anchored by a winning lead performance from Rudd, who made his mark as Phoebe's boyfriend in the sitcom Friends. Here, the actor flexes his comic muscles as well as his abs and pecs, which are flaunted in an obligatory scene of toplessness to prove he hit the gym for the role.

When Rudd's unlikely hero is invited to become Ant-Man and save the world, his considered response is: "I think our first move should be calling The Avengers." Sensible.

Cat burglar Scott Lang (Rudd) is released from San Quentin Penitentiary and resolves to go straight for the sake of his daughter Cassie (Abby Ryder Fortson). He shares an apartment with former cellmate Luis (Michael Pena) but struggles to find gainful employment. Desperate to pay child support to his despairing ex-wife (Judy Greer), Scott agrees to one lucrative heist set up by Luis and two pals (David Dastmalchian, Tip "T.I." Harris).

Unfortunately, the robbery lands Scott in a police cell, under the glare of Maggie's new beau, Detective Paxton (Bobby Cannavale). Inventor Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) offers Scott a way out if he agrees to don a superhero outfit, which shrinks the wearer at the touch of a button.

Aided by Hank's feisty daughter (Evangeline Lilly), Scott masters the suit and learns to mind-control four species of ants. Humans and insects take on Hank's former protege, Darren Cross (Corey Stoll), who has replicated the Ant-Man technology for his Yellowjacket suit, which he intends to sell to the highest bidder: Hydra.

Ant-Man mines a rich vein of humour to underscore the high-speed acrobatics. The 3D format is only noticeable when Scott activates the suit and seemingly benign household features, like a running tap, become life-or-death obstacles a la Honey I Shrunk The Kids.

Director Reed has great fun juxtaposing perspectives, especially in a showdown on a child's train set that is thrilling close-up, with carriages crashing off tracks, but laughably pedestrian when witnessed actual size.

Rudd invests his reformed do-gooder with charm and chutzpah, and Douglas and Lilly provide solid support as the feuding father-daughter dynamic destined for reconciliation. "This isn't some cute technology like the Iron Man suit," Hank tells Scott about his invention. Perhaps not, but this first salvo of Ant-Man is almost as entertaining.

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Thursday 30th July 2015

This film is also showing at:

Ant-Man 3D 4 stars

movie title

Cat burglar Scott Lang is released from San Quentin Penitentiary and resolves to go straight for the sake of his daughter. Inventor Dr Hank Pym invites Scott to don a superhero outfit, which shrinks the wearer at the touch of a button. Aided by Hank's feisty daughter, Scott masters the suit and learns to mind-control four species of ants. Humans and insects take on Hank's former protege, Darren Cross, who intends to sell the Ant-Man technology to the highest bidder.

  • GenreAction, Adaptation, Adventure, Romance, Science Fiction
  • CastBobby Cannavale, Evangeline Lilly, Judy Greer, Hayley Atwell, Michael Douglas, Paul Rudd.
  • DirectorPeyton Reed.
  • WriterJoe Cornish, Edgar Wright, Paul Rudd, Adam McKay.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration117 mins
  • Official sitewww.marvel.com/antman
  • Release17/07/2015

Although its ambitions are grander than the incredible shrinking hero of the title, the latest franchise in the cluttered Marvel Comic universe is refreshingly modest compared to the computer-generated bombast of The Avengers. The script, initially penned by Edgar Wright and Joe Cornish, and was then revised by Adam McKay and Paul Rudd when Peyton Reed replaced Wright in the director's chair, leans heavily on deadpan humour.

That changing of the filmmaking guard in 2014 hasn't negatively impacted on Ant-Man. Reed's boisterous action adventure is anchored by a winning lead performance from Rudd, who made his mark as Phoebe's boyfriend in the sitcom Friends. Here, the actor flexes his comic muscles as well as his abs and pecs, which are flaunted in an obligatory scene of toplessness to prove he hit the gym for the role.

When Rudd's unlikely hero is invited to become Ant-Man and save the world, his considered response is: "I think our first move should be calling The Avengers." Sensible.

Cat burglar Scott Lang (Rudd) is released from San Quentin Penitentiary and resolves to go straight for the sake of his daughter Cassie (Abby Ryder Fortson). He shares an apartment with former cellmate Luis (Michael Pena) but struggles to find gainful employment. Desperate to pay child support to his despairing ex-wife (Judy Greer), Scott agrees to one lucrative heist set up by Luis and two pals (David Dastmalchian, Tip "T.I." Harris).

Unfortunately, the robbery lands Scott in a police cell, under the glare of Maggie's new beau, Detective Paxton (Bobby Cannavale). Inventor Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) offers Scott a way out if he agrees to don a superhero outfit, which shrinks the wearer at the touch of a button.

Aided by Hank's feisty daughter (Evangeline Lilly), Scott masters the suit and learns to mind-control four species of ants. Humans and insects take on Hank's former protege, Darren Cross (Corey Stoll), who has replicated the Ant-Man technology for his Yellowjacket suit, which he intends to sell to the highest bidder: Hydra.

Ant-Man mines a rich vein of humour to underscore the high-speed acrobatics. The 3D format is only noticeable when Scott activates the suit and seemingly benign household features, like a running tap, become life-or-death obstacles a la Honey I Shrunk The Kids.

Director Reed has great fun juxtaposing perspectives, especially in a showdown on a child's train set that is thrilling close-up, with carriages crashing off tracks, but laughably pedestrian when witnessed actual size.

Rudd invests his reformed do-gooder with charm and chutzpah, and Douglas and Lilly provide solid support as the feuding father-daughter dynamic destined for reconciliation. "This isn't some cute technology like the Iron Man suit," Hank tells Scott about his invention. Perhaps not, but this first salvo of Ant-Man is almost as entertaining.

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Thursday 30th July 2015

This film is also showing at:

Cinderella 4 stars

movie title

Ella loses her mother and father, but inherits a vindictive stepmother Lady Tremaine and two brattish stepsisters, Anastasia and Drizella. Treated as a servant by her new family, who cruelly nickname her Cinderella, the plucky heroine catches the eye of dashing Prince Charming, who must pick a bride to ensure the security of the kingdom. So he throws a lavish ball where Ella makes a grand entrance with some magical help from her Fairy Godmother.

  • GenreAction, Adaptation, Drama, Family, Family, Fantasy, Romance
  • CastDerek Jacobi, Stellan Skarsgard, Richard Madden, Holliday Grainger, Cate Blanchett, Sophie McShera, Lily James, Ben Chaplin, Helena Bonham Carter, Hayley Atwell.
  • DirectorKenneth Branagh.
  • WriterChris Weitz.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration113 mins
  • Official sitemovies.disney.com/cinderella/
  • Release27/03/2015

Slavishly adapted from Disney's classic 1950 animated musical, Kenneth Branagh's live action version of the fairy-tale romance doesn't skimp on the period detail. Sandy Powell's luxurious costumes, Dante Ferretti's opulent set designs and Patrick Doyle's sweeping orchestral score conjure a magical world of unerring love in which even we gasp at the gargantuan splendour of the grand ball where the prince must choose his wife.

While this Cinderella unquestionably dazzles the senses, screenwriter Chris Weitz is shackled to fond memories of the hand-drawn film and consequently, he has almost no room for flourishes of originality.

The plot arc is predetermined, the ugly stepsisters don't hack off their heels or toes to squeeze into a misplaced glass slipper, and Helena Bonham Carter's fairy godmother isn't quite as eccentric as she or we would like as she engineers the film's best set-piece with a flick of her wand.

"I don't go transforming pumpkins for just anyone!" she chirps. No, the special effects wizards do and they accomplish the pivotal sequence with aplomb. Before all of the jiggery-pokery with a pumpkin, four mice and a goose, Ella (Lily James) is consigned to the kitchen by her vindictive stepmother Lady Tremaine (Cate Blanchett) and brattish stepsisters, Anastasia (Holliday Grainger) and Drizella (Sophie McShera).

Emboldened by the dying words of her mother (Hayley Atwell) - "Have courage and be kind" - Ella tries to rise above the bullying. When the name-calling becomes too frightful, she escapes on horseback and catches the eye of the dashing Prince (Richard Madden), who must pick a bride at the behest of the dying King (Derek Jacobi).

So the Prince throws a lavish ball where Ella makes her grand entrance then disappears as the clock chimes midnight, leaving behind footwear that would surely pose a health and safety risk in any other film. "Find that girl - the forgetful one who loses her shoes!" decrees the Captain of the royal guard (Nonzo Anosie).

Cinderella will enchant a generation of girls, who dream of donning the tiara of a Disney princess. James and Madden are an attractive screen pairing, while Blanchett draws inspiration from Joan Crawford to cast a formidable shadow from beneath the brim of her character's extravagant hats.

"I do love a happy ending, don't you?" gushes one of the characters. Branagh's film certainly does, without a hint of irony. The main feature is preceded by the animated short Frozen Fever, which continues the adventures of sisters Anna (voiced by Kristen Bell) and Elsa (Idina Menzel) as they prepare for a birthday celebration.

Lovable snowman Olaf (Josh Gad) and hunky Kristoff (Jonathan Groff) also return and the script includes a cute reference to the blockbusting film when ice queen Elsa sneezes and chirrups, "A cold never bothered me anyway!" A generation of men, who take to their beds at the first sniffle, would disagree.

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Thursday 30th July 2015

Inside Out 5 stars

From the moment baby Riley opens her eyes, her mood is shaped by five coloured emotions - Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust - which bicker behind a large control desk laden with buttons and levers. Joy is the dominant emotion in Headquarters and she safeguards Riley's memories, which are stored as glowing orbs. When Riley turns 11, her parents relocate from Minnesota to San Francisco. Traumatic events such as a first day at a new school nudge Sadness to the fore.

  • GenreAnimation/Cartoon, Comedy, Family, Family
  • CastDiane Lane, Amy Poehler, Kyle MacLachlan, Bill Hader, Phyllis Smith, Lewis Black, Mindy Kaling.
  • DirectorPete Docter, Ronaldo Del Carmen.
  • WriterPete Docter, Meg LeFauve, Josh Cooley.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration102 mins
  • Official sitewww.movies.disney.com/inside-out
  • Release24/07/2015

Despite gargantuan advances in medical science, we still don't fully understand the complexities of the human brain: its ability to process vast quantities of information, solve problems and store memories at speeds that put supercomputers to shame.

Pixar Animation Studios, the wizards who conjured the Toy Story trilogy, contemplate the vagaries of neuropsychology with this visually stunning and emotionally rich comedy, which unfolds predominantly inside the head of a little girl.

This high-brow concept doesn't seem like the most accessible subject matter for a family-oriented computer animation. But directors Pete Docter and Ronaldo Del Carmen elegantly tilt their film at the windmills of the mind and deliver a hilarious, heartfelt and ultimately life-affirming adventure that celebrates childhood innocence, family unity and the power of the human spirit to overcome adversity.

Laughter and tears abound, as well as cute visual gags, ensuring parents will be repeatedly dabbing their eyes while children whoop and gurgle with glee at the slapstick and rollicking action sequences.

A mother (voiced by Diane Lane) and father (Kyle MacLachlan) welcome a baby girl called Riley (Kaitlyn Dias) into the world. From the moment she opens her eyes, Riley's mood is shaped by five coloured emotions - golden Joy (Amy Poehler), blue Sadness (Phyllis Smith), purple Fear (Bill Hader), red Anger (Lewis Black) and green Disgust (Mindy Kaling) - which bicker behind a large control desk laden with buttons and levers.

Joy is the dominant emotion in Headquarters and she safeguards Riley's memories, which are stored as glowing orbs, tinged with the colour of the emotion that prevailed at the time. When Riley turns 11, her parents relocate from Minnesota to San Francisco.

Traumatic events such as a first day at a new school nudge Sadness to the fore. Following an altercation, sworn rivals Joy and Sadness are expelled from Headquarters and find themselves stranded in the labyrinth of Riley's long-term memories.

Aided by Riley's imaginary friend Bing Bong (Richard Kind), Joy and Sadness blaze a haphazard trail on the chugging train of thought back to Fear, Anger and Disgust, who have been left in charge of Headquarters, with disastrous consequences.

Inside Out is Pixar's best film since the holy animated trilogy of WALL-E, Up and Toy Story 3. Docter's script, co-written by Meg LeFauve and Josh Cooley, glisters with imagination, wit and invention, delivering guffaws with detours into the heads of Riley's parents as they attempt to deal with her pre-teenage rebellion.

Vocal performances are note perfect, led by Poehler's exuberant portrayal of Joy and Smith's sincere embodiment of Sadness, who tugs heartstrings as the film reaches its exquisite conclusion.

The film is preceded by a short: a musical love story entitled Lava between two volcanoes called Uku and Lele, directed by James Ford Murphy. Joy and Sadness shared blissful control of my mind throughout.

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Thursday 30th July 2015

This film is also showing at:

Inside Out 3D 5 stars

From the moment baby Riley opens her eyes, her mood is shaped by five coloured emotions - Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust - which bicker behind a large control desk laden with buttons and levers. Joy is the dominant emotion in Headquarters and she safeguards Riley's memories, which are stored as glowing orbs. When Riley turns 11, her parents relocate from Minnesota to San Francisco. Traumatic events such as a first day at a new school nudge Sadness to the fore.

  • GenreAnimation/Cartoon, Comedy, Family, Family
  • CastKyle MacLachlan, Diane Lane, Amy Poehler, Bill Hader, Phyllis Smith, Lewis Black, Mindy Kaling.
  • DirectorPete Docter, Ronaldo Del Carmen.
  • WriterMeg LeFauve, Pete Docter, Josh Cooley.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration102 mins
  • Official sitewww.movies.disney.com/inside-out
  • Release24/07/2015

Despite gargantuan advances in medical science, we still don't fully understand the complexities of the human brain: its ability to process vast quantities of information, solve problems and store memories at speeds that put supercomputers to shame.

Pixar Animation Studios, the wizards who conjured the Toy Story trilogy, contemplate the vagaries of neuropsychology with this visually stunning and emotionally rich comedy, which unfolds predominantly inside the head of a little girl.

This high-brow concept doesn't seem like the most accessible subject matter for a family-oriented computer animation. But directors Pete Docter and Ronaldo Del Carmen elegantly tilt their film at the windmills of the mind and deliver a hilarious, heartfelt and ultimately life-affirming adventure that celebrates childhood innocence, family unity and the power of the human spirit to overcome adversity.

Laughter and tears abound, as well as cute visual gags, ensuring parents will be repeatedly dabbing their eyes while children whoop and gurgle with glee at the slapstick and rollicking action sequences.

A mother (voiced by Diane Lane) and father (Kyle MacLachlan) welcome a baby girl called Riley (Kaitlyn Dias) into the world. From the moment she opens her eyes, Riley's mood is shaped by five coloured emotions - golden Joy (Amy Poehler), blue Sadness (Phyllis Smith), purple Fear (Bill Hader), red Anger (Lewis Black) and green Disgust (Mindy Kaling) - which bicker behind a large control desk laden with buttons and levers.

Joy is the dominant emotion in Headquarters and she safeguards Riley's memories, which are stored as glowing orbs, tinged with the colour of the emotion that prevailed at the time. When Riley turns 11, her parents relocate from Minnesota to San Francisco.

Traumatic events such as a first day at a new school nudge Sadness to the fore. Following an altercation, sworn rivals Joy and Sadness are expelled from Headquarters and find themselves stranded in the labyrinth of Riley's long-term memories.

Aided by Riley's imaginary friend Bing Bong (Richard Kind), Joy and Sadness blaze a haphazard trail on the chugging train of thought back to Fear, Anger and Disgust, who have been left in charge of Headquarters, with disastrous consequences.

Inside Out is Pixar's best film since the holy animated trilogy of WALL-E, Up and Toy Story 3. Docter's script, co-written by Meg LeFauve and Josh Cooley, glisters with imagination, wit and invention, delivering guffaws with detours into the heads of Riley's parents as they attempt to deal with her pre-teenage rebellion.

Vocal performances are note perfect, led by Poehler's exuberant portrayal of Joy and Smith's sincere embodiment of Sadness, who tugs heartstrings as the film reaches its exquisite conclusion.

The film is preceded by a short: a musical love story entitled Lava between two volcanoes called Uku and Lele, directed by James Ford Murphy. Joy and Sadness shared blissful control of my mind throughout.

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Thursday 30th July 2015

This film is also showing at:

Jurassic World 4 stars

movie title

The Jurassic World theme park is open on Isla Nublar under the control of Operations Manager Claire Dearing. The park's scientists play God by performing genetic modification experiments to breed a new dinosaur: the Indominus Rex. When this hulking beast escapes confinement and goes on the rampage in a park crowded with terrified tourists, animal wrangler Owen Grady races to the rescue.

  • GenreAction, Adventure, Family, Science Fiction, Thriller
  • CastJudy Greer, Chris Pratt, Ty Simpkins, Bryce Dallas Howard, Vincent D'Onofrio, Nick Robinson.
  • DirectorColin Trevorrow.
  • WriterRick Jaffa, Amanda Silver, Colin Trevorrow, Derek Connolly.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration124 mins
  • Official sitewww.jurassicworld.com
  • Release11/06/2015

In the original Jurassic Park, scientists reanimate dinosaurs on a tropical island and quickly discover their arrogant folly. "Life breaks free. It expands to new territories and crashes through barriers," wisely observes Jeff Goldblum's doom-mongering chaos mathematician. His words reverberate throughout this fourth instalment of the blockbusting dino-franchise.

Director Colin Trevorrow and three co-writers step back in time, using the structure and heightened human drama of the first film as a solid template for this return to Isla Nublar. Jurassic World begs, borrows and affectionately steals from the 1993 box office behemoth, including a cameo for the Mr DNA animation and a set piece in the iconic visitor centre (now overgrown).

Two stricken children are a focal point when the park goes into meltdown, and mission control boasts a nerdy computer wizard (Jake Johnson) for mild comic relief. If the nuts and bolts of the screenplay are unabashedly retro, the special effects are undeniably state-of-the-art, realising creatures great and small, which chomp through countless extras and the main cast.

This is by far the bloodiest chapter of the Jurassic saga, if not quite the best. Jurassic World opened to the public in 2005 and now welcomes more than 20,000 visitors a day. Claire Dearing (Bryce Dallas Howard) oversees park operations, while Dr Henry Wu (BD Wong) plays God in the laboratories, splicing DNA strands to create terrifying new breeds.

"Consumers want them bigger, louder, more teeth," Claire tells a group of investors. Thus the ferocious and highly intelligent Indominus Rex is born. "This will give the parents nightmares," shudders park CEO Simon Masrani (Irrfan Khan), who took up the mantle from John Hammond to open an isle of prehistoric wonders.

When the Indominus Rex escapes her paddock, Claire begs naval officer-turned-animal behaviour specialist Owen Grady (Chris Pratt) for help. He has been working on the island with Vic Hoskins (Vincent D'Onofrio), head of InGen Security, on a top-secret project involving four captive velociraptors.

Claire is distraught because her nephews, Zach (Nick Robinson) and Gray (Ty Simpkins), are trapped in the middle of the bloodbath. She implores Owen to rescue the boys, tracking them by footprints and scent. "I was in the Navy, not the Navajo," he reminds her.

Jurassic World is a muscular, rollicking romp that captures some of the adrenaline-pumping thrills and jaw-dropping awe we felt more than 20 years ago when Steven Spielberg first unleashed dinosaurs back into multiplexes.

Pratt is an instantly likable hero and he catalyses a simmering screen chemistry with Howard as the workaholic who faces the dino-pocalypse in highly inappropriate footwear. D'Onofrio glowers as one of the film's boo-hiss villains, who views the creatures as expendable assets. "We own them. Extinct animals have no rights," he snarls.

Action sequences are orchestrated at a lick, seamlessly integrating digital trickery with live action including chaotic scenes of a flock of pteranodons plucking visitors from the ground. "Remember: something chases you, run!" advises Zach and Gray's mom at the beginning of the film. Wise words.

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Thursday 30th July 2015

This film is also showing at:

Minions 3 stars

movie title

Since the dawn of time, the Minions have gravitated towards the most despicable master they can find. One Minion named Kevin embarks on an epic quest to find a new evil boss for his brethren to follow. Flanked by teenage rebel Stuart and diminutive scaredy-cat Bob, Kevin leaves the Minions' current home in Antarctica bound for 1968 New York City, where he stumbles upon the world's first female super-villain: Scarlet Overkill.

  • GenreAnimation/Cartoon, Comedy, Family, Family
  • CastChris Renaud, Sandra Bullock, Pierre Coffin, Steve Coogan, Allison Janney, Michael Keaton, Katy Mixon, Jon Hamm.
  • DirectorPierre Coffin, Kyle Balda.
  • WriterBrian Lynch.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration91 mins
  • Official sitewww.minionnation.co.uk
  • Release26/06/2015

You can have too much of a good thing. In small doses, Despicable Me's goggle-eyed hench-creatures are a deranged delight. As unwittingly heroes of their own big screen adventure, these pint-sized "knights in shining denim" lose some of their loopy lustre, hindered by Brian Lynch's flimsy script, which is disappointingly light on storyline and belly laughs.

A dazzling vocal cast of gifted comic actors is repeatedly short-changed. Very young children, who gurgle with glee at the Minions' bonkers vernacular combining Esperanto and gobbledygook, will adore the slapstick, pratfalls and the tiniest member of the Minions clan, Bob, who clutches a well-loved teddy bear called Tim.

Adults will be considerably harder to win over. The lack of a coherent storyline grates as much as the lazy cultural stereotyping of the British as tea-sipping, corgi-riding folk, who frequent pubs called The Pig's Spleen.

Since the dawn of time, Minions have gravitated towards despicable masters including Tyrannosaurus Rex, Count Dracula and Napoleon. Unfortunately, these masters die prematurely - at the hands of the clumsy, yellow hench-creatures - leaving the Minions in a state of deep depression.

One brave soul named Kevin steps forth to find an evil boss for his bald, jaundiced brethren. Flanked by Stuart and scaredy-cat Bob, Kevin leaves the Minions' ice cave retreat bound for 1968 New York City. Cue a President Richard Nixon billboard proclaiming "Finally: a name you can trust". Could the Minions have stumbled upon their arch-villain?

No. The plucky trio learns about a gathering of criminals in Orlando and hitches a ride to the convention with a bank-robbing family led by Walter Nelson (voiced by Michael Keaton) and wife Madge (Allison Janney).

Their daughter Tina (Katy Mixon) points the Minions in the direction of bouffant super-villain Scarlet Overkill (Sandra Bullock). "If I was a minion, that's who I'd want to work for," she swoons. Thus the trio pledges allegiance to Scarlet and her inventor husband Herb (Jon Hamm), who are plotting to steal the Crown Jewels from Queen Elizabeth II (Jennifer Saunders).

While the soundtrack swings its flares to The Kinks and The Who, Kevin, Stuart and Bob careen around London armed with Herb's nifty gadgets: a robo-suit, lava lamp gun and hypno-hat.

Minions has a sprinkling of giggles and doesn't outstay its welcome but there's an unshakable feeling that Pierre Coffin and Kyle Balda's film falls short. The groovy time period should be a velvet goldmine of visual gags but the best the film can muster is a nod to The Beatles and a faked moon landing.

The 3D version doesn't exploit the eye-popping format so parents with tykes in tow should save their money for the inevitable raid on the concessions stand. Animation is colourful and pristine, opting for shiny surfaces and sharp angles that reduce the need for meticulous detail and realism. Despicable? Meh.

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Thursday 30th July 2015

This film is also showing at:

Minions (Subtitled) 3 stars

movie title

Since the dawn of time, the Minions have gravitated towards the most despicable master they can find. One Minion named Kevin embarks on an epic quest to find a new evil boss for his brethren to follow. Flanked by teenage rebel Stuart and diminutive scaredy-cat Bob, Kevin leaves the Minions' current home in Antarctica bound for 1968 New York City, where he stumbles upon the world's first female super-villain: Scarlet Overkill.

  • GenreAnimation/Cartoon, Comedy, Family, Family
  • CastSteve Coogan, Pierre Coffin, Allison Janney, Michael Keaton, Katy Mixon, Chris Renaud, Sandra Bullock, Jon Hamm.
  • DirectorPierre Coffin, Kyle Balda.
  • WriterBrian Lynch.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration91 mins
  • Official sitewww.minionnation.co.uk
  • Release26/06/2015

You can have too much of a good thing. In small doses, Despicable Me's goggle-eyed hench-creatures are a deranged delight. As unwittingly heroes of their own big screen adventure, these pint-sized "knights in shining denim" lose some of their loopy lustre, hindered by Brian Lynch's flimsy script, which is disappointingly light on storyline and belly laughs.

A dazzling vocal cast of gifted comic actors is repeatedly short-changed. Very young children, who gurgle with glee at the Minions' bonkers vernacular combining Esperanto and gobbledygook, will adore the slapstick, pratfalls and the tiniest member of the Minions clan, Bob, who clutches a well-loved teddy bear called Tim.

Adults will be considerably harder to win over. The lack of a coherent storyline grates as much as the lazy cultural stereotyping of the British as tea-sipping, corgi-riding folk, who frequent pubs called The Pig's Spleen.

Since the dawn of time, Minions have gravitated towards despicable masters including Tyrannosaurus Rex, Count Dracula and Napoleon. Unfortunately, these masters die prematurely - at the hands of the clumsy, yellow hench-creatures - leaving the Minions in a state of deep depression.

One brave soul named Kevin steps forth to find an evil boss for his bald, jaundiced brethren. Flanked by Stuart and scaredy-cat Bob, Kevin leaves the Minions' ice cave retreat bound for 1968 New York City. Cue a President Richard Nixon billboard proclaiming "Finally: a name you can trust". Could the Minions have stumbled upon their arch-villain?

No. The plucky trio learns about a gathering of criminals in Orlando and hitches a ride to the convention with a bank-robbing family led by Walter Nelson (voiced by Michael Keaton) and wife Madge (Allison Janney).

Their daughter Tina (Katy Mixon) points the Minions in the direction of bouffant super-villain Scarlet Overkill (Sandra Bullock). "If I was a minion, that's who I'd want to work for," she swoons. Thus the trio pledges allegiance to Scarlet and her inventor husband Herb (Jon Hamm), who are plotting to steal the Crown Jewels from Queen Elizabeth II (Jennifer Saunders).

While the soundtrack swings its flares to The Kinks and The Who, Kevin, Stuart and Bob careen around London armed with Herb's nifty gadgets: a robo-suit, lava lamp gun and hypno-hat.

Minions has a sprinkling of giggles and doesn't outstay its welcome but there's an unshakable feeling that Pierre Coffin and Kyle Balda's film falls short. The groovy time period should be a velvet goldmine of visual gags but the best the film can muster is a nod to The Beatles and a faked moon landing.

The 3D version doesn't exploit the eye-popping format so parents with tykes in tow should save their money for the inevitable raid on the concessions stand. Animation is colourful and pristine, opting for shiny surfaces and sharp angles that reduce the need for meticulous detail and realism. Despicable? Meh.

Showtimes (Click time to book tickets)

Thursday 30th July 2015

Minions 3D 3 stars

movie title

Since the dawn of time, the Minions have gravitated towards the most despicable master they can find. One Minion named Kevin embarks on an epic quest to find a new evil boss for his brethren to follow. Flanked by teenage rebel Stuart and diminutive scaredy-cat Bob, Kevin leaves the Minions' current home in Antarctica bound for 1968 New York City, where he stumbles upon the world's first female super-villain: Scarlet Overkill.

  • GenreAnimation/Cartoon, Comedy, Family, Family
  • CastPierre Coffin, Chris Renaud, Sandra Bullock, Steve Coogan, Allison Janney, Michael Keaton, Katy Mixon, Jon Hamm.
  • DirectorPierre Coffin, Kyle Balda.
  • WriterBrian Lynch.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration91 mins
  • Official sitewww.minionnation.co.uk
  • Release26/06/2015

You can have too much of a good thing. In small doses, Despicable Me's goggle-eyed hench-creatures are a deranged delight. As unwittingly heroes of their own big screen adventure, these pint-sized "knights in shining denim" lose some of their loopy lustre, hindered by Brian Lynch's flimsy script, which is disappointingly light on storyline and belly laughs.

A dazzling vocal cast of gifted comic actors is repeatedly short-changed. Very young children, who gurgle with glee at the Minions' bonkers vernacular combining Esperanto and gobbledygook, will adore the slapstick, pratfalls and the tiniest member of the Minions clan, Bob, who clutches a well-loved teddy bear called Tim.

Adults will be considerably harder to win over. The lack of a coherent storyline grates as much as the lazy cultural stereotyping of the British as tea-sipping, corgi-riding folk, who frequent pubs called The Pig's Spleen.

Since the dawn of time, Minions have gravitated towards despicable masters including Tyrannosaurus Rex, Count Dracula and Napoleon. Unfortunately, these masters die prematurely - at the hands of the clumsy, yellow hench-creatures - leaving the Minions in a state of deep depression.

One brave soul named Kevin steps forth to find an evil boss for his bald, jaundiced brethren. Flanked by Stuart and scaredy-cat Bob, Kevin leaves the Minions' ice cave retreat bound for 1968 New York City. Cue a President Richard Nixon billboard proclaiming "Finally: a name you can trust". Could the Minions have stumbled upon their arch-villain?

No. The plucky trio learns about a gathering of criminals in Orlando and hitches a ride to the convention with a bank-robbing family led by Walter Nelson (voiced by Michael Keaton) and wife Madge (Allison Janney).

Their daughter Tina (Katy Mixon) points the Minions in the direction of bouffant super-villain Scarlet Overkill (Sandra Bullock). "If I was a minion, that's who I'd want to work for," she swoons. Thus the trio pledges allegiance to Scarlet and her inventor husband Herb (Jon Hamm), who are plotting to steal the Crown Jewels from Queen Elizabeth II (Jennifer Saunders).

While the soundtrack swings its flares to The Kinks and The Who, Kevin, Stuart and Bob careen around London armed with Herb's nifty gadgets: a robo-suit, lava lamp gun and hypno-hat.

Minions has a sprinkling of giggles and doesn't outstay its welcome but there's an unshakable feeling that Pierre Coffin and Kyle Balda's film falls short. The groovy time period should be a velvet goldmine of visual gags but the best the film can muster is a nod to The Beatles and a faked moon landing.

The 3D version doesn't exploit the eye-popping format so parents with tykes in tow should save their money for the inevitable raid on the concessions stand. Animation is colourful and pristine, opting for shiny surfaces and sharp angles that reduce the need for meticulous detail and realism. Despicable? Meh.

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Thursday 30th July 2015

Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation 4 stars

The Impossible Missions Force (IMF) led by agent Ethan Hunt has taken down some of the most deadly criminal networks in the world using guile and state-of-the-art technology. Now the hunters become the hunted. A shadowy band of assassins known as the Syndicate targets IMF for extinction. Hunt reunites with colleagues William Brandt, Benji Dunn and computer hacker Luther Stickell to expose the Syndicate and bring down the organisation using every weapon and turbo-charged vehicle at their disposal.

  • GenreAction, Adaptation, Adventure, Thriller
  • CastJeremy Renner, Simon Pegg, Tom Cruise, Ving Rhames, Sean Harris, Alec Baldwin, Rebecca Ferguson.
  • DirectorChristopher McQuarrie.
  • WriterChristopher McQuarrie.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration131 mins
  • Official sitewww.missionimpossible.com
  • Release30/07/2015

Call it testosterone-fuelled recklessness, hubris or feeling the need... the need for speed, Tom Cruise certainly puts on a show in the fifth instalment of the Mission: Impossible franchise. He clings to the side of an airplane as it takes flight, slaloms at dizzying speed on a motorcycle and performs death-defying leaps as secret agent Ethan Hunt. The 53-year-old star performs most of these hair-raising stunts himself, allowing writer-director Christopher McQuarrie to capture every pulse-quickening second in thrilling close-up with minimum digital trickery. Cruise's commitment to his role puts fellow action stars to shame - unlike the films of Stallone and Schwarzenegger, the script is devoid of wry one-liners to poke fun at his advancing years. McQuarrie, Oscar-winning screenwriter of The Usual Suspects, bookmarks slam-bang action sequences with intentionally ambiguous exchanges between rival operatives, who acknowledge the futility of their efforts as pawns in the spy game. Their inevitable deaths will go unnoticed and fresh-faced young agents will step forward, continuing the brutal tug-of-war between political idealism and global terrorism. The film opens with the Impossible Missions Force (IMF) hijacking a shipment of nerve gas from Chechen separatists. Soon after, CIA Director Alan Hunley (Alec Baldwin) succeeds in shutting down IMF for a total disregard for protocol, which led to the destruction of the Kremlin in the previous film. The hunters become the hunted when a shadowy organisation known as the Syndicate, fronted by Solomon Lane (Sean Harris), targets IMF for extinction. Hunt covertly reunites with colleagues William Brandt (Jeremy Renner), Benji Dunn (Simon Pegg) and computer hacker Luther Stickell (Ving Rhames) to bring down The Syndicate using every gadget, disguise and turbo-charged vehicle at their disposal. The operation brings Hunt into close contact with undercover MI6 agent Ilsa Faust (Rebecca Ferguson) and her slippery handler (Simon McBurney), a sadistic henchman known as the Bone Doctor (Jens Hulten) and the unsuspecting British Prime Minister (Tom Hollander). "This may very well be our last mission," Brandt tells Hunt. "Make it count." Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation is slickly bolted together by McQuarrie and editor Eddie Hamilton (Kick-Ass, Kingsman: The Secret Service). Turbo-charged scenes of carnage are punctuated by IMF's existential crisis in a world that regards their methods as "outdated". Cruise somersaults, punches and tumbles through every frame without breaking sweat, while Pegg, who was pigeon-holed as comic relief in the previous instalment, steps up in a pivotal supporting role. Ferguson's ice maiden doesn't thaw sufficiently under Cruise's smouldering gaze to kindle on-screen chemistry but her femme fatale snaps several limbs and necks in impressive hand-to-hand combat sequences. Humour is used sparingly to diffuse tension, leaving us hungry for another explosion of IMF antics to the pulsating rhythm of Lalo Schifrin's iconic theme. On this evidence, Mission: Impossible and its gung-ho leading man won't be self-destructing any time soon.

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Penguins Of Madagascar 3 stars

movie title

Skipper leads a crack squad of penguins comprising Kowalski, Rico and Private. A grey wolf called Classified, who works for the elite inter-species task force North Wind, recruits the plucky birds to thwart nefarious octopus Dr Octavius Brine. The penguins collaborate with some of the best agents in North Wind including harp seal demolitions expert Short Fuse, snowy owl intelligence analyst Eva and plucky polar bear Corporal to defeat their tentacled adversary.

  • GenreAdventure, Animation/Cartoon, Comedy, Family, Family
  • CastChristopher Knights, Chris Miller, Tom McGrath, Benedict Cumberbatch, Peter Stormare, John Malkovich, Ken Jeong, Conrad Vernon.
  • DirectorEric Darnell, Simon J Smith.
  • WriterMichael Colton, John Aboud, Brandon Sawyer.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration92 mins
  • Official sitewww.madagascar.dreamworks.com
  • Release05/12/2014

Birds of a feather somersault, karate kick and bicker together in Eric Darnell and Simon J Smith's misfiring computer-animated spin-off from the Madagascar films. Frenetic and fast-paced, Penguins Of Madagascar initially sketches the back story of the four plucky Antarctic critters with a beak for adventure through the lens of a documentary film crew, who are keen to observe the flightless birds in their treacherous natural habitat.

The script soon fast-forwards to the conclusion of Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted and literally blasts the penguins into an outlandish spy caper replete with a menagerie of animal co-stars that should be a merchandiser's dream this Christmas.

The colour-saturated animation is a feast for the eyes and there are a few neat visual gags such as the penguins' novel approach to navigating a zebra crossing undetected. However, the four lead characters, who are boundlessly charming in small doses as sidekicks, grate slightly as heroes of their own half-baked story.

Hopefully the adorable Minions from the Despicable Me series will dodge a similar fate when they graduate to the limelight in a self-titled feature next summer.

Skipper (voiced by Tom McGrath) leads a crack squad comprising Kowalski (Chris Miller), Rico (Conrad Vernon) and Private (Christopher Knights) on a daring mission to break into Fort Knox in search of treasure: a luminous orange snack called Cheezy Dibbles.

From the offset, goofball Private is identified as the black penguin of the operation. "He's sort of our secretary-slash-mascot," observes Skipper. The hunt for Cheezy Dibbles leads the penguins into the clutches of nefarious octopus Dr Octavius Brine (John Malkovich), who intends to take over the world using his mutation serum.

Thankfully, Skipper and co escape and a subsequent chase with hench-octopi along the canals of Venice leads the penguins into the company of a grey wolf called Classified (Benedict Cumberbatch), who works for an elite inter-species task force known as North Wind.

Fellow agents include harp seal demolitions expert Short Fuse (Ken Jeong), snowy owl intelligence analyst Eva (Annet Mahendru) and plucky polar bear Corporal (Peter Stormare). The unlikely heroes join forces to defeat their tentacled arch-nemesis, but this collaboration will amount to nothing unless Skipper allows Private to discover the hero within.

Penguins Of Madagascar exhibits a similar lack of invention as the films which gave birth to Skipper, Kowalski, Rico and Private. Brine's master plan for global domination bears an uncanny resemblance to events in Despicable Me 2 and the underlying message of tolerance and acceptance has been preached countless times before.

"If we've learnt anything on this delightful adventure, it's that looks don't matter. It's what you do that counts," declares Skipper.

A running joke involving celebrity names in one character's dialogue is a cute flourish but certainly not enough for these penguins to defy evolution and effortlessly take flight.

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Thursday 30th July 2015

Southpaw 3 stars

movie title

Billy Hope is a giant of the boxing ring, who relishes the adoration of the crowd. His adoring wife Maureen pleads with him to hang up his boxing gloves for good so he can spend more time with his young daughter, Leila. Billy accedes but then tragedy strikes and Leila is taken away by the courts from Billy, who sinks into a mire of alcohol-sodden self-pity and despair.

  • GenreAction, Drama, Romance, Thriller
  • CastRachel McAdams, Jake Gyllenhaal, 50 Cent, Forest Whitaker, Oona Laurence.
  • DirectorAntoine Fuqua.
  • WriterKurt Sutter.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration124 mins
  • Official sitewww.facebook.com/SouthpawMovie
  • Release24/07/2015

Feted by some sports commentators as the greatest boxer of all time, Sugar Ray Robinson possessed one unshakable quality that gave him an edge over his opponents. "To be a champ you have to believe in yourself when no one else will," he insisted.

Director Antoine Fuqua, screenwriter Kurt Sutter and leading man Jake Gyllenhaal clearly believe in their hard-slugging sports drama about a one-time boxing legend, who hits the comeback trail in order to win back the custody of his young daughter.

Fuqua orchestrates testosterone-fuelled skirmishes inside the ring with brio, Sutter trades verbal blows with his snappy dialogue and Gyllenhaal trained intensively for six months with fight choreographer Terry Claybon to replicate the muscular physicality and snarling mentality of a light heavyweight.

Ironically, for a film that packs a wallop during briskly edited bouts, Southpaw delivers only a few light jabs to our heart strings, almost all of which are landed by 12-year-old actress Oona Laurence. At 124 minutes, Fuqua's cliche-riddled contender expects us to go 12 rounds with training montages and a euphoric Eminem soundtrack before the obligatory final showdown of brawn over brains.

Billy Hope (Gyllenhaal) is a giant of the boxing ring, who celebrates retaining his championship belt with his wife Maureen (Rachel McAdams) and precocious daughter Leila (Laurence). The girl begs to be allowed to watch her father's fights. "I see stuff like that on the TV all the time," she pleads. "I watch The Walking Dead."

Maureen becomes concerned about the toll on her husband's body and pleads with him to hang up his boxing gloves for good, which doesn't impress Billy's lifelong manager, Jordan Mains (Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson).

Tragedy strikes and Leila is wrested away from Billy by the courts after he sinks into a mire of alcohol-sodden despair. In order to reunite his fractured family, Billy must prove to child services officer Angela Rivera (Naomie Harris) that he can be a responsible parent.

To earn enough money to provide a home for Leila, Billy heads back into the boxing ring to fight his nemesis, Miguel "Magic" Escobar (Miguel Gomez). Thus the underdog begins the slow and painful journey back to peak physical fitness with the help of old school trainer Tick Willis (Forest Whitaker).

Southpaw is a rousing parable of triumph over adversity that won't knock out any fans of The Champ, Rocky and other displays of pugilistic big screen machismo. Gyllenhaal looks in peak physical shape, but mumbles his lines, some of which are incomprehensible.

McAdams illuminates her limited scenes while Laurence proves she can cry on cue like a leaky tap. Jackson plays his role with swagger, echoing the capitalist interests of modern sport when his bling-laden promoter grins, "If it makes money, it makes sense." Money talks, if only Gyllenhaal did more clearly.

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Ted 2 2 stars

movie title

John has divorced Lori and Ted is poised to walk down the aisle with his sweetheart, a checkout girl called Tami-Lynn. Then disaster strikes. The state of Massachusetts decrees that a teddy bear is a piece of property not a person so Ted is stripped of his marriage certificate, job and identity. Consequently, Ted and John head into the courtroom with civil rights attorney Samantha L Jackson to argue that Ted is alive and deserves his rights.

  • GenreComedy, Romance
  • CastMark Wahlberg, Liam Neeson, Amanda Seyfried, Seth MacFarlane, Jessica Barth.
  • DirectorSeth MacFarlane.
  • WriterAlec Sulkin, Seth MacFarlane, Wellesley Wild.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration116 mins
  • Official sitewww.ted2.co.uk
  • Release08/07/2015

In 2012, writer-director Seth MacFarlane's mismatched buddy comedy Ted was a surprise hit. Man's best friend wasn't a dog after all - it was a potty-mouthed, talking teddy with a penchant for beer, bongs and scantily clad ladies. Sadly, the bear necessities of modern life don't stretch to a second film because Ted 2 is padded with as much fluff as the huggable hero.

The sequel is a vast improvement on MacFarlane's previous film, A Million Ways To Die In The West, but even root canal treatment would be preferable to a repeat viewing of that tumbleweed spoof. The sweetness and romance, which distinguished the original Ted, have been diluted to the point of blandness here and a climactic set piece at a pop culture convention is an unsightly mess.

Direction plods without any urgency and politically incorrect, gross-out interludes are laced with malice. Between the frequent yawns, MacFarlane conjures moments of magic - new love interest Amanda Seyfried's a cappella rendition of Mean Ol' Moon; a bizarre yet hilarious cameo by Liam Neeson - but these are fleeting.

Ted 2 opens with John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) divorced from Lori (Mila Kunis) and fur ball companion Ted (voiced by McFarlane) poised to walk down the aisle with a brassy checkout girl called Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth). One year later, the honeymoon is over and Ted and Tami-Lynn are arguing incessantly.

Ted's supermarket co-worker (Cocoa Brown) passes on a nugget of her wisdom: "You better have a baby or your marriage is over". The bear lacks the necessary appendage to impregnate Tami-Lynn, so he hatches a plot to steal the sperm of American football legend Tom Brady (playing himself).

The bear-brained scheme misfires and Ted and Tami-Lynn approach an adoption agency. Their application is red flagged because the state of Massachusetts recognises Ted as a piece of property not a person. Soon after, the bear loses his job and the marriage is annulled.

"We take this all the way to Judge Judy if we have to," bellows John and the pals head to court with idealistic attorney Samantha L Jackson (Amanda Seyfried) to uphold Ted's civil rights.

Ted 2 runs on empty in terms of originality, relying entirely on our affection for the characters to sustain interest. Wahlberg trades lacklustre banter with his computer-generated pal and there's an absence of on-screen chemistry with Seyfried.

A running gag about her facial similarity to a character from The Lord Of The Rings develops a stitch before its punchline, while fleeting appearances from John's gay co-worker (Patrick Warburton) and his boyfriend (Michael Dorn) are superfluous.

At a critical juncture in the court case, Ted activates the voicebox in his chest and sweetly trills, "I love you!" Regrettably, it's impossible to feel similarly enamoured with MacFarlane's sequel.

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Terminator Genisys 2 stars

movie title

In the aftermath of judgment day, rebel leader John Connor hopes to give humanity a fighting chance by sending his friend Kyle Reese back in time to 1986 to protect his helpless mother Sarah from a shape-shifting Terminator. When Kyle finally catches up with Sarah, he discovers that he is in an altered timeline in which the Connor matriarch is a well-honed fighting machine, who already has protection: an ageing T-800 model Terminator.

  • GenreAction, Adventure, Science Fiction, Thriller
  • CastJai Courtney, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Emilia Clarke, Byung-hun Lee, Jason Clarke, JK Simmons.
  • DirectorAlan Taylor.
  • WriterPatrick Lussier, Laeta Kalogridis.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration126 mins
  • Official sitewww.terminatormovie.com
  • Release02/07/2015

In Terminator Genisys, the misfiring reboot of James Cameron's apocalyptic time-travelling saga, Arnold Schwarzenegger's cyborg assassin repeatedly references his advancing years in a dystopian world of young pretenders. "I'm old, not obsolete," he deadpans in that distinctive Teutonic growl. Alas, both the hulking Austrian action man and the blockbusting franchise are ready for the scrapheap.

Millions of dollars of special effects, some of them workmanlike, cannot disguise the fried circuitry of Laeta Kalogridis and Patrick Lussier's script, which is hard-wired with the muddled concept of alternate universes to explain the tweaks to this reimagined origin story.

Released in 1984, The Terminator tapped into timely concerns about nuclear warfare to explore a bleak future in which machines have rebelled against mankind and rendered our species almost obsolete. Terminator Genisys follows a similarly gloomy trajectory.

In the aftermath of judgment day, the last vestiges of mankind face complete extinction at the hands of the automata. Rebel leader John Connor (Jason Clarke) leads the charge in 2029 Los Angeles, flanked by best friend Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney).

"You gave us all a future, John. I'm going to use mine," proudly declares Kyle, who volunteers to venture back to 1984 to protect John's mother Sarah (Emilia Clarke) from a shape-shifting T-1000 (Byung-hun Lee).

When Kyle arrives, he discovers that he has gatecrashed an altered timeline in which the Connor matriarch is a ballsy warrior, who already has a protector: an ageing T-800 (Schwarzenegger), which she refers to affectionately as "pops".

Sarah, Kyle and the T-800 launch an assault on Cyberdyne Systems run by Miles Dyson (Courtney B Vance) and his son Danny (Dayo Okeniyi), who will unwittingly give birth to Skynet and bring about mankind's downfall. However, someone knows they are coming.

Terminator Genisys attempts to mimic Jurassic World by exploiting our nostalgia, but Alan Taylor's picture has neither the jaw-dropping thrills nor the wry humour of the rampaging dinosaurs. The multiple timelines become a tangled, knotty mess before the two hours are up, making us wish that Skynet had, in an alternate universe, infected the scriptwriters' computers with a virus and wiped this film from their hard drives.

Action sequences feel second-hand: duels between different model Terminators were choreographed with more flair in previous films and the culmination to a chase across the Golden Gate Bridge whiffs of The Lost World: Jurassic Park.

Faltering comic relief arrives in the form of JK Simmons' veteran LAPD detective, who is rescued by Sarah and Kyle in 1984 and drives his colleagues mad with far-fetched stories of killer robots.

"We're here to stop the end of the world," Sarah tells him.
"I can work with that," grins the detective.
Unfortunately, we can't work with Taylor's reboot. The end - including an additional scene secreted in the credits - can't come soon enough.

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Thursday 30th July 2015

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Terminator Genisys 3D 2 stars

movie title

In the aftermath of judgment day, rebel leader John Connor hopes to give humanity a fighting chance by sending his friend Kyle Reese back in time to 1986 to protect his helpless mother Sarah from a shape-shifting Terminator. When Kyle finally catches up with Sarah, he discovers that he is in an altered timeline in which the Connor matriarch is a well-honed fighting machine, who already has protection: an ageing T-800 model Terminator.

  • GenreAction, Adventure, Science Fiction, Thriller
  • CastArnold Schwarzenegger, Jai Courtney, Emilia Clarke, Byung-hun Lee, Jason Clarke, JK Simmons.
  • DirectorAlan Taylor.
  • WriterLaeta Kalogridis, Patrick Lussier.
  • CountryUS
  • Duration126 mins
  • Official sitewww.terminatormovie.com
  • Release02/07/2015

In Terminator Genisys, the misfiring reboot of James Cameron's apocalyptic time-travelling saga, Arnold Schwarzenegger's cyborg assassin repeatedly references his advancing years in a dystopian world of young pretenders. "I'm old, not obsolete," he deadpans in that distinctive Teutonic growl. Alas, both the hulking Austrian action man and the blockbusting franchise are ready for the scrapheap.

Millions of dollars of special effects, some of them workmanlike, cannot disguise the fried circuitry of Laeta Kalogridis and Patrick Lussier's script, which is hard-wired with the muddled concept of alternate universes to explain the tweaks to this reimagined origin story.

Released in 1984, The Terminator tapped into timely concerns about nuclear warfare to explore a bleak future in which machines have rebelled against mankind and rendered our species almost obsolete. Terminator Genisys follows a similarly gloomy trajectory.

In the aftermath of judgment day, the last vestiges of mankind face complete extinction at the hands of the automata. Rebel leader John Connor (Jason Clarke) leads the charge in 2029 Los Angeles, flanked by best friend Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney).

"You gave us all a future, John. I'm going to use mine," proudly declares Kyle, who volunteers to venture back to 1984 to protect John's mother Sarah (Emilia Clarke) from a shape-shifting T-1000 (Byung-hun Lee).

When Kyle arrives, he discovers that he has gatecrashed an altered timeline in which the Connor matriarch is a ballsy warrior, who already has a protector: an ageing T-800 (Schwarzenegger), which she refers to affectionately as "pops".

Sarah, Kyle and the T-800 launch an assault on Cyberdyne Systems run by Miles Dyson (Courtney B Vance) and his son Danny (Dayo Okeniyi), who will unwittingly give birth to Skynet and bring about mankind's downfall. However, someone knows they are coming.

Terminator Genisys attempts to mimic Jurassic World by exploiting our nostalgia, but Alan Taylor's picture has neither the jaw-dropping thrills nor the wry humour of the rampaging dinosaurs. The multiple timelines become a tangled, knotty mess before the two hours are up, making us wish that Skynet had, in an alternate universe, infected the scriptwriters' computers with a virus and wiped this film from their hard drives.

Action sequences feel second-hand: duels between different model Terminators were choreographed with more flair in previous films and the culmination to a chase across the Golden Gate Bridge whiffs of The Lost World: Jurassic Park.

Faltering comic relief arrives in the form of JK Simmons' veteran LAPD detective, who is rescued by Sarah and Kyle in 1984 and drives his colleagues mad with far-fetched stories of killer robots.

"We're here to stop the end of the world," Sarah tells him.
"I can work with that," grins the detective.
Unfortunately, we can't work with Taylor's reboot. The end - including an additional scene secreted in the credits - can't come soon enough.

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Thursday 30th July 2015

Thomas & Friends: Sodor's Legend Of The Lost Treasure 3 stars

Thomas and his engine pals Ryan, Gordon, Toby and the Scottish twins Douglas and Donald discover an old pirate ship. This leads to the startling realisation that there is lost treasure on the magical island of Sodor. Thomas and co find themselves in a race against time to track down the precious booty before salty sea dog Sailor John gets his paws on the lost treasure and spirits it away in his trusted sail boat Skiff.

  • GenreAdventure, Animation/Cartoon, Children, Children's
  • CastEddie Redmayne, John Hurt, Jamie Campbell Bower, Nathan Clarke.
  • DirectorDavid Stoten.
  • CountryUK
  • Duration63 mins
  • Official sitewww.thomasandfriends.com
  • Release17/07/2015 (selected cinemas)

Screening in cinemas for a limited time to coincide with the 70th anniversary of Thomas The Tank Engine, this feature-length computer-animated adventure follows the plucky blue locomotive and his pals as they embark on a thrilling quest. Thomas (voiced by John Hasler) and his engine pals Ryan (Eddie Redmayne), Gordon (Keith Wickham), Toby (Rob Rackstraw) and the Scottish twins Douglas and Donald (Joe Mills) discover an old pirate ship. This leads to the startling realisation that there is lost treasure on the magical island of Sodor. Thomas and co find themselves in a race against time to track down the precious booty before salty sea dog Sailor John (John Hurt) gets his paws on the lost treasure and spirits it away in his trusted sail boat Skiff (Jamie Campbell Bower).

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Thursday 30th July 2015

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Two By Two 2 stars

Dave and his inquisitive young son Finny belong to a fluffy land-based species called Nestrians, who are excellent homemakers. They are denied safe passage on Noah's ark and adopt laughable disguises to pose as carnivorous hyena-like Grymps alongside a genuine mother animal called Hazel and her daughter Leah. The roaring flood arrives but Finny and Leah are stranded on dry land with a giant slug called Obesey and his parasitic passenger, Stayput.

  • GenreAdventure, Animation/Cartoon, Comedy
  • CastAva Connolly, Tara Flynn, Paul Tylak, Patrick FitzSymons, Callum Maloney, Dermot Magennis.
  • DirectorSean McCormack, Toby Genkel.
  • WriterRichie Conroy, Marteinn Thorisson, Mark Hodkinson, Toby Genkel.
  • CountryGer/Bel/Lu
  • Duration87 mins
  • Official sitewww.facebook.com/pages/Ooops-Noah-is-gone/222749614584770
  • Release01/05/2015

The biblical story of Noah, neatly encapsulated in six chapters of the book of Genesis, provides a weak catalyst for this derivative computer-animated adventure, which strives to emulate the Ice Age films but falls woefully short of that franchise's visual sophistication and belly laughs. Co-directors Toby Genkel and Sean McCormack chart a pedestrian course through shallow dramatic waters, bringing together cuddly critters in a race against time to escape an apocalyptic downpour.

Vocal performances are lacklustre, like the visuals, and the absence of jeopardy in the closing frames is palpable. Crucially, Two By Two defies its own flimsy set-up without obvious reason, such as inviting a family of three giraffes into the ark, while only allowing one member of other species to apparently board the gargantuan gopher wood vessel.

Noah is mentioned but never seen - instead a sanctimonious, self-serving lion captains the ship aided by a pair of grouchy gorillas. Any wholesome messages about family unity, teamwork and tolerance buried in the ham-fisted script are submerged beneath a thick glaze of syrupy sentiment as the film reaches its underwhelming conclusion.

Dave (voiced by Dermot Magennis) and his inquisitive young son Finny (Callum Maloney) belong to a fluffy land-based species called Nestrians, who are excellent homemakers. "All the animals of the world have been called to a gathering," Dave explains to his incredulous boy. "There's a flood coming. We'll drown if we don't leave."

On cue, storm clouds gather and the heavens open, ushering the two Nestrians on their exhausting trek for survival. They arrive to discover that "all animals are welcome on Noah's ark... as long as you're on Noah's list."

Alas, Dave and Finny are rejected for travel as well as two bat-like predators called Griffins (Aileen Mythen, Magennis again). The resourceful Nestrians adopt laughable disguises to pose as carnivorous hyena-like Grymps alongside a genuine mother animal called Hazel (Lara Flynn) and her daughter Leah (Ava Connolly).

The roaring flood arrives but Finny and Leah are stranded on dry land with a giant slug called Obesey (Paul Tylak) and his parasitic passenger, Stayput (Patrick Fitzsymons). As the youngsters head for higher ground, Dave and Hazel desperately attempt to turn around the ark.

Fittingly, Two By Two is a damp squib. Elements of the vastly superior Finding Nemo are flung into the bland mix, offset by the feeble villainy of The Griffins, whose attempts to eat Finny and Leah are pathetic. The closest the film comes to a joke is one passenger announcement aboard the ark: "Our approximate sailing time is 40 days and 40 nights. We are expecting some choppy seas and light drizzle."

Thankfully Genkel and McCormack's film only lasts 87 minutes, but that still feels like a slog.

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Thursday 30th July 2015

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